Celebrating Life

Ok, so my blog writing has been sporadic, but don't worry, when I start to get really busy at school the entries will become more frequent since I'll be avoiding actual work.

The theme of today's post, however, is going to probably be a bit of a bummer, although I hope it ends with a positive message. Today, I attended the memorial service for one of the graduate students in my department, Casey. Last week, Casey died unexpectedly from unknown causes, and for the past several days many people have been reeling from his death. The night that everyone found out was incredibly upsetting, mainly because we did not have details as to how he had died, and immediately people began jumping to the conclusion that he had committed suicide. I understand that it is difficult for people to understand how a healthy, active, young man like Casey could just suddenly pass, but I think that before assuming it had to be suicide, people need to first understand that the human body is fragile. Although it's scary, our bodies can sometimes fail us unexpectedly and for no apparent reason, and as young people we carry around this feeling of invincibility. We believe that we have all this time left and that there will always be plenty of opportunities to accomplish everything we want to do. Casey's tragic passing is a reminder that we cannot predict the future, and that there may not always be another tomorrow to do all those things.

I didn't know Casey incredibly well, but I know he was a kind, warm, compassionate, and funny person. He was also just genuinely nice and good-natured. Anytime I spoke with him or hung out with him he was always smiling, making jokes, and usually wearing his Duff hat. I always wondered how many people realized The Simpsons reference. Casey was also incredibly helpful during my first year of graduate school. He gave frank, funny advice on how to deal with the winter quarter hell of Principles of Social Theory combined with Statistics 649, how to pick an advisor, and how to just survive the experience itself. He also told great stories about working as a poker dealer and his travels across Europe. I was hoping that in my second year I would be able to get to know him better, but now I am content with the fact that I was able to know him at all.

In order to honor him, the department held a memorial service in his honor, and people were invited to share stories or thoughts about him. Everyone said wonderful things, and they all echoed the sentiment that we need to live for today, maintain our appreciation and wonder for knowledge, and to let the people in our lives know how much we care for them. As I walked back from the memorial with my friend Kelsey, we both chuckled about the fact that Casey was such a happy person and he would have been bummed out by how sad we all were. As we shared Casey memories with each other, Kelsey and I both talked about how we might be remembered. It was a scary thought, especially when I look at Casey's vast accomplishments and life experiences he had in just 29 years. It's too bad that tragedies like this one are the jump starts we need to realize how amazing life can be and to be thankful that we have had another day.

I will miss Casey as I continue on with my studies, especially because I appreciated him as an intellectual, and I know he would have continued to accomplish great things within sociology. I will also miss him as a person. He was one of those people who could truly light up a room. To close, I remember the words that a priest said to me when my friend Jenny died suddenly. He said that as long as there are people here who can carry and share the memories of a person they are never truly gone, and when the last person who remembers them leaves this life, it is no reason to be sad. It just means that we're finally all together again. I hope that wherever Casey is he knows how appreciated he was, and if not someday maybe we can all be with him to tell him.